Notes On Travel Regret: Part 2

I've blogged about travel regret before, about that feeling of missing out, of not having quite enough time to see everything you want to see or do everything you want to do. The feeling of not having made the right call, for whatever reason. For some people there is no regret (logically I know regret is pointless, but emotionally? Well, that's a different story), but for others, there are places missed, cities longed for, decisions analyzed and questioned after the fact.

Off to India...or not

Petronas Towers, Kuala Lumpur

In the summer, around late August, my ex-partner and I (not ex at the time) were talking about going to India for two months, February and March. Up until this point I wasn't sure he was going to want to travel at all during the winter, and I was worried about this. Then he brought up India, something I'd mentioned at various other points  during the year and that he never seemed very keen on. But now, he was interested. He wanted to take cooking classes and eat street food and consume as much vegetarian Indian food as he could get his hands on. I got the Lonely Planet from the library and started reading him random facts about various cities, about places we "had" to see and what we absolutely couldn't miss. We were excited. We were united. Things were good.

Fear
And then I chickened out. For a lot of reasons, but the one I most often refer to is that I knew I would be working while we traveled (call it digital nomad light) and that I really needed a reliable internet connection the whole time or my work would suffer. (or so I believed). From what I'd read there was no guarantee of the speedy surfing I was used to in many other places I'd travelled so I panicked. In retrospect I should have done more research, asked around, reached out to people who had been there, not worried so much - but I didn't. I assumed it might just be better (safer) to go someplace else, and so I suggested Malaysia. But let's face it, I was also scared of India itself, which I'm not proud of.

The regret kicks in

Gardens by the Bay, Singapore

Don't get me wrong, two months in Malaysia and Singapore (with side trips to Hong Kong and Vietnam) was great and I had a memorable trip filled with phenomenal food and unforgettable experiences, but I regret not going to India. I can't help but equate the dissolution of my long term partnership a mere three weeks after returning with the "not going", with all of that fear. Of course there were many other issues that led to my  becoming a solo traveler, but I now equate my inability to move past travel fears with the end of my relationship. Silly? Maybe. Weird? probably, but I can't help but wonder if things would have turned out differently had I dove headfirst into a challenge rather than back away. I can't help but ask myself what it really meant when I vetoed India and switched up the itinerary. I have regret and lots of it.

I  know it will pass and I know I am not being logical, necessarily, but what happened does drive home the point that giving into fear isn't often a good thing. In travel or in love.

What are your biggest travel regrets?

Unplanned Travel Detours: Vietnam Edition

As I'm sure I've mentioned, I'm a planner. I like the idea of being totally spontaneous and doing away with routes, itineraries and travel guides, but ultimately, at my core, I need a plan or at least a semblance of one in order to feel comfortable. But that doesn't mean plans don't change, or that every trip taken isn't without its surprises.

Ho Chi Minh City

Hey, let's fly to Vietnam for 10 days
February and March of this year were spent mostly in Malaysia and Singapore with a three night bonus-stopover in Hong Kong on the way home. But somewhere along the line, around mid-February we decided to add Vietnam into the mix. We were in Malaysia during Chinese New Year, which meant a lot of hotels, buses, ferries, etc. were booked up well in advance. We were struggling to find decent rooms and transportation when we wanted it. So we were feeling a little stuck and. The fix: Leave Malaysia and try a new country on for size.

We had 10 days to play with before meeting some friends in Kuala Lumpur so we decided to spend them in Vietnam. It was unexpected, it was spontaneous and it was something we would never do in "real life" but while traveling, the decision was made within an hour over a beer in cafe in Penang.

Saigon green beer

Spontaneity can be fun
At home, I like my routine. I'm not adverse to last-minute plans but if I already have my comfy pants on, you better have tickets to something good (or be offering free booze) to get me out of the house. So you can see how a totally random side trip to a country not on our original itinerary would be a bit outside my comfort zone. We did this last year with a side trip to Cambodia and it was a great decision, but I really didn't anticipate any similar moves this time around. The verdict: It was an amazing 10 days spent in Ho Chi Minh City, Mui Ne and Dalat (full post on these coming soon). We couldn't get enough and were actually sad to leave at the end of it all.

The lesson for me in all this is that there is a place for spontaneity and last-minute switches to plans and "hey, let's go here" moments when you travel. If fact, I bet some people would say travel is all about those unexpected changes to plans (or better yet, not planning at all).

How spontaneous are you when you travel? I've love to know!

My Travel Wish List for 2013

I was recently inspired by this great post wherein Mrs. O Around the World shares her 2013 travel wish list (Santa, are you listening... er reading?) So here is my "I need to go to there" list for the New Year and beyond, in no particular order. Parts two through 200 to come.

1. Malaysia

Image courtesy SM Jet

Malaysia is my alternate plan if we don't end up going to India  this winter, which at this point, likely will not. I love the idea of loads of street food, colonial architecture, beaches, green space, jungle and a melange of cultures. I especially want to spend lots of time in Penang, Melaka, Langkawi and of course, KL, not to mention Malaysian Borneo (hello, orangutans and jungle treks).

2. Singapore

Image courtesy Dominic Wee

I think it makes sense, wanting to go to Singapore while at the same time hankering for a taste of Malaysia. I've been looking into airfare and from Toronto, flights to Singapore seem quite a bit cheaper than they are to KL. But flight prices aside, I have become pretty fascinated by this well-ordered, glimmering city-state. I love the idea of checking out the many hawker centers, meandering through Little India and Chinatown, escaping the city with a wander through the Singapore Botanic Gardens (which are supposed to be quite lovely), and doing lots and lots of (window) shopping.

3. Vietnam

Image courtesy Timo Balk

Two months in SE Asia was not enough to squeeze in Vietnam. I would have liked to go for longer in order to include several spots here, but it was not to be. So now I've been left wanting. There was a lot of preliminary talk about going to Vietnam this winter (pre-India talk) so it's still on "the list" and still in the running for a sooner rather than later trip. I want to see Ha Long Bay, I want to check out Ho Chi Minh City and Hanoi. I want to see for myself where I fall amidst the myriad love-hate opinions of other travelers who have been here. Seriously, from what I've read, you either love it... or not.

4. Morocco

Image courtesy M.E. Jones

I have been wanting to go to Morocco since around 2006, when I became obsessed with signing up for a G Adventure tour there. I ended up in Paris for a summer instead (which was amazing), but I still have a lingering lust on for Morocco. Fez, Marrakech, Essaouira (which my mom fell in love with in the 60s) -- bring it on, I want to see it all. But it's winter there when my boyfriend and I travel so it hasn't yet fit in with the "we want to be warm while it's cold here" criteria.

5. Panama

Image courtesy Joy

As one of the only countries in Central America I have yet to visit, Panama has been high on my must-visit list for a few years. We were contemplating a trip there last year, but chose Thailand instead. But there's something about Panama that pulls me in. I want to wander aimlessly through Casco Viejo, check out the Canal (natch), get closer to nature in various national parks and of course, do some beach hopping. 

Image courtesy A C

5. Hong Kong
I'm not sure where my fascination with Hong Kong began, but I have been developing a serious travel crush on this seemingly well-ordered yet always buzzing hub filled with shopping, people, chaos, and a multitude of things to see and do. We very nearly built in a 4-day layover in Hong Kong on the way back from Thailand but ultimately decided against it. But still, I remain fascinated. Maybe this year..

So, where do you want to go in 2013? Tell me things!